


An Uncivilised Conversation

by otherhawk



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (hopefully), Funny, Gen, Obi-Wan and Quinlan are a bad influence on each other and in general, Short piece of nonsense, crack adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otherhawk/pseuds/otherhawk
Summary: In some undetermined bar at an undertermined point of the war Yoda is a troll, Quinlan is unabashed and Obi-Wan is suffering.





	An Uncivilised Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> This is nonsense. But it amused me writing it, so I'm hoping it might amuse someone reading it.

The bar was loud and crowded but they had managed to find a booth to themselves, Yoda perched on a bar stool at the end watching them all like a benevolent gargoyle. It was a good day. The formal liberation celebration had been earlier, but now they had found their way somewhere no one was looking for Jedi or war heroes and they were relaxing as best they could.

“I'm going to be hitching a ride with you, Obi-Wan,” Quinlan said, grinning. “We'll have some time in hyperspace – you want to show me that last move you used against Grievous?”

Obi-Wan swallowed back his drink and raised an eyebrow. “If you think you can handle it.”

“Remember you will that forbidden from sparring together in public you are,” Yoda interjected, loudly enough for it to be evident he knew exactly what he was doing.

Sure enough, a ripple of interest and surprise ran around the table. “Wait,” Anakin said, sitting up straight. “Why aren't you and Master Vos allowed to spar?”

“It's a ridiculous ruling from a long time ago,” Obi-Wan told him dismissively.

Quinlan grinned some more. “They're afraid we'll bring the Jedi Order into disrepute.”

“Disrepute?” Ahsoka's eyes were huge. “Master Kenobi?”

“Disrepute is a very strong word,” Obi-Wan protested mildly.

“But apt, it is,” Yoda nodded. “Apt it is.”

Obi-Wan looked at him crossly. “Really? Are you really going to bring up occurrences from our padawan years?”

Quinlan leaned across the table towards him. “We weren't padawans when you decided to take a vibroblade to a lightsaber fight. _Or_ when you got us thrown out of that illegal fight club.”

“Master!” Anakin exclaimed, scandalised.

Oh, well. Obi-Wan sighed. “I believe that after the third piece of furniture has been thrown it ceases to be a lightsaber fight and becomes a brawl,” he said with a certain distaste.

There was a brief moment of silence. Yoda settled comfortably on his stool, leaning his stick on the table.

“Is...is that in the Code, sir?” Rex asked finally.

“I stopped being able to beat Obi-Wan in a fair fight back when he was even shorter than he is now,” Quinlan explained in the manner of one clearing everything up.

“I am, in fact, slightly above average height,” Obi-Wan interjected pointedly.

“Size matters not,” Yoda added, equally pointedly.

Quinlan waved a hand dismissively. “I wasn't able to beat him in a fair fight so we started fighting _unfairly._ That way I have fair shot.” 

There was another somewhat longer moment of silence. 

“I really don't think it works that way,” Rex said at last. 

Anakin was lightly scowling. “Just because Obi-Wan can beat you doesn't mean you're allowed to cheat.” 

“Actually, I've found that it's rather good practice for both of us. There is, after all, a whole galaxy of beings out there who are disinclined to fight fair. It's good to be able to practice more...uncivilised manoeuvrers every now and then. Even if it does lead to having to explain bite marks in awkward places to the healers from time to time.” 

“How come you didn't tell me about this?” Anakin demanded.

Quinlan sniggered. Obi-Wan sighed again. “We were banned from sparring in public after some younger padawans tried to emulate us with...limited success. Later we were  _expressly forbidden_ from sparring in front of you and Aayla by Mace on pain of something unspecified and dreadful.” 

“Something about us warping your young impressionable minds,” Quinlan contributed cheerfully. 

“Excuse me, sir, did you say you were _thrown out of an illegal fight club?”_ Cody asked.

Obi-Wan sighed for a third time. There was no way out of this conversation. “Our  _plan_ was to get thrown out of an illegal fight club.” 

“Our plan was for _me_ to get us thrown out of the fight club,” Quinlan corrected. “You getting us thrown out came as a surprise to everyone. Especially me since I wasn't expecting your teeth in my - “

“ \- I did warn you what would happen if you tried that again,” Obi-Wan said serenely. “The mission was a success in the end anyway.” 

“And a fascinating read the report was,” Yoda put in, cackling to himself. 

Anakin stared. “I think I'm going to have to read it.  _This_ was what you were doing while I was stuck in the Temple playing catch-up with the little kids?” 

Obi-Wan sighed for what he swore would be the final time this evening. “How about I buy everyone another drink?” 

 

 


End file.
